How to Help Your Child Make Wise Media Decisions

There is a lot of junk out there for kids to absorb.  TV, music, movies, video games, the internet are all have messages, both good and bad.  So how do you help your child decide what messages are okay to listen to, and which should be ignored?  Here are a few ideas….

pluggedin

1. Plugged In Online –  There are a several good sites out there that review media, but one of my favorites is www.pluggedin.com.  Plugged In Online provides reviews for movies, videos, TV, music, video games, you name it.  This site, which is put out by Focus on the Family, highlights the positives and negatives in each of its reviews, including whether there is swearing, sexual or inappropriate scenes, spiritual content, and more.  In my opinion, Plugged In Online gives parents a balanced perspective to help them decide what their kids should be tuning in to.

2. Parent Link – This resource is put out by Calvary (with the help of Group Publishing) almost every month.  Each issue is packed with articles containing all sorts of parenting advice, but there is always a page dedicated to reviewing new movies, music, and video games.  Look for a new edition in your bulletin this week.

3. Talk to Your Kid – No fancy website or brochure here to help you as a parent guide your kid to making wise media choices, just old fashioned conversation.  Perhaps rather than just flat out telling your kid they can’t watch that TV show, or go see that movie, take the time to explain why.  Explain your convictions.  Bring your faith into the conversation.  Don’t just control your child and tell them they can’t go, but take the time to fully explain why you are taking this stance.  Try to win them over to your opinion.  Try to influence them, not just control them.

4. Limit Your Child’s Media Intake – Even if the content isn’t bad, the quantity can still be harmful.  Some studies show that the average kid spends 8 hours a day consuming media!  Impose some boundaries on your child’s media intake.  I know one family that had a rule that for every minute their kids wanted to play a video game, they had to read their Bible for a minute before they even picked up the controller. Tell your kids to turn off the TV and go outside and play, to go read a book, or to actually go hang out with a friend as opposed to “talking” to them on Facebook all the time.

These are just a few quick ideas for making sure your kids make wise choices when it comes to the media they consume.  What else can parents do to limit the poor media influences in a child’s life?

Why I Love Royal Rangers and Girls Ministries

A few Sunday nights ago we had a special awards ceremony for our Royal Rangers and Girls ministries.  Literally hundreds of awards were handed out that night, and we even took a little extra time to honor a few girls and boys in the main service who had earned some special awards.

Julia

There are lots of things I love about Rangers and Girls Ministries, but one thing I love the most is the mentoring that takes place in these ministries.  Studies show that kids who have multiple voices speaking into their lives are much more likely to have their faith stick with them than kids who do not.  Seems like common sense, but having a mentor, someone that they can trust and talk to beyond their parents, is not something that very many kids have.  If you’re looking for a good role model for your child I would recommend coming out on Sunday nights.  Built into Rangers and Girls Ministries is a small group environment where each kid has multiple leaders working with them and speaking into their lives.

Rangers

Another reason I love Rangers and Girl’s Ministries is that they both give kids a great footing in life.  Each ministry teaches leadership and relational skills, both allow kids to make great friends who will be a positive influence in their life, and both give kids tremendous opportunities to grow in their faith by keeping them accountable to reading the Bible, praying, memorizing scripture, and more.

Again, if your child isn’t involved in Rangers or Girls Ministries let me encourage you to bring them out this Sunday night @ 6:30 pm.  The fun all begins down in room 031, which is the KidZone room downstairs.

How to Keep Your Kids Safe Online

Quite often as a children’s pastor I get asked by parents what I recommend to keep their kids safe online.  This is an important question for parents to ask.  The average kid is first exposed to pornography on the internet at age 11.  And beyond pornography, there is a lot of other junk online as well.

There are also a lot of great tools out there to protect kids, and one that I always recommend is Covenant Eyes (http://www.covenanteyes.com/).  The thing I love about Covenant Eyes is that it is more than a filter, it also provides accountability so parents can see when and where their kids are trying to test the limits.

If you have never been heard of Covenant Eyes before I would encourage you to watch the video below to see what it is all about.  Or you could simply come out to parenting class this Sunday that Pastor Clark and I are teaching.  We are going to be meeting in Room 106 at 10:15.  This week we are talking about how parents can monitor and have good conversations with their children regarding the internet, cell phones, television, video games, the whole deal.

Here is the Covenant Eyes promo video….

If you can’t see the video above simply click here.

Big Issues

Kids may be little in size, but they face some big issues.  These are just a few of the prayer requests submitted by kids at Calvary this past Sunday….

prayerrequests

Okay, so maybe the cat staying safe outside isn’t the biggest issue in the world.  It is a big concern to that kid though.  But, cancer, family fighting, bullying, unspoken?  Our kids face some big problems.  Why don’t you take some time to pray for some of our kids this week?  Or better yet, why don’t you pray for them and consider being a part of a child’s life?

Again, these kids are facing some big challenges in their lives, and they need someone who is going to be a voice into their life.  Someone who can tell them that they are there for them, more importantly that God is there for them, and that they never have to face these things alone.  They need someone to offer guidance and direction.   They need someone to teach them about faith, following God and all about life.

Will you pray for our kids?  Will you get involved in one of their lives?  They need you to.

Beyond the Classroom

Kid’s church is a great place for a child to learn about God, Christ & faith.  Obviously, as a children’s pastor, I wish that every kid had the opportunity to come to church to hear about God.  In the end though, I know that a church service is only one of the many experiences that a child needs in order to grow in their relationship with Christ, and ultimately to have their faith stick with them for a lifetime.

What else do kids need to grow up following Christ into adulthood?  Well, for one thing, opportunities to serve.  Diana Garland in Inside Out Families writes,

Community service was significantly more closely related to the faith development of teens than attending worship services.  Service appears to be more powerful than Sunday School, Bible study, or participation in worship in the faith development of teenagers.

Giving kids and youth the opportunity to live out their faith in practical service increases the likely hood that the child’s faith will stick with them for a lifetime.  This is why I get so excited when parents get their kids involved in serving, and even more excited when parents serve with their kids.

At Calvary, we have a dad who has taken, or is going to take, all of his kids on their first missions trip with the church.  We have a mom and daughter that volunteer in our wheelchair van ministry, faithfully serving together to go pick up our shut-ins for church on Sunday.  We have had families that serve at the local soup kitchen, My Brother’s Table, together.  Every year we have parents participate in our Christmas and Easter productions with their kids.  All of these parents, and the dozens like them, are giving their kids a chance to grow in their faith outside the regular Sunday morning classroom.

I wonder if the statistics showing how many teens walk away from their faith after high school would diminish if every child were given opportunities to serve and put their faith into action?  What would happen if parents invested the time and energy to get their kids plugged into church beyond the classroom?

Why 1 to 7 Teacher/Student Ratios Are Killing the Church

My church has one, and odds are yours does too.  Most churches have a set ratio of the number of teachers/leaders/volunteers they require in a classroom for every certain number of kids.  In my church the ratio is 1 teacher for every 7 kids (except in the nursery where it is 1 nursery worker for every 4 infants).

Churches recruit for their ministries based on ratio’s like these.  “Parents, we could really use some help in kid’s church.  We have 30 kids coming, but just two people helping out…so we are reeeeaaaaally short staffed.  We need at 2 or 3 more people.  Can you help out?”  The trouble is using a 1-to-7 ratio is far too low, at least if you want the kids in the church to be lifelong followers of Christ.  According to Lifeway Research:

Teens who had at least one adult from church make a significant time investment in their lives….were more likely to keep attending church.  More of those who stayed in church – by a margin of 46 percent to 28 percent – said five or more adults at church had invested time with them personally and spiritually.

Did you catch that?  The more people who invest in a kid from church, the more likely that kid is to stick with their faith.  We live in a day and age where countless teens are walking away from their faith after high school.  Could one reason be because we (the church & parents) have left our kids spiritual formation entirely to one person in a classroom, who is already distracted by 6 other kids, and only given them 75 minutes a week to speak into our children’s lives?

What would happen if we changed the ratio?  What if rather than trying to get one teacher in every room for every 7 kids, we made it a point to try to help parents find 5 mentors for every one of their kids?  What if every kid got more than a teacher for a single Sunday morning service, but beyond that had multiple people who were investing in “them personally and spiritually” throughout the week, the month and their life?

Don’t get me wrong, I think 1 to 7 ratios are important and needed.  They provide structure and safety for classes and ministries.  I also think that every single Sunday school teacher, kid’s worker, youth staff member plays a pivotal part in a kids’ spiritual growth.  I also think they by themselves they are insufficient.  I think that a childrens or youth worker can, and should, be an important voice in the life a kid, but it should only be one of the voices that that child hears.  The reality is though, many kids are only hearing one voice, and so many are walking away from the faith.  To put it another way, 1-to-7 ratios are killing the next generation of the church.

Same Kind of Different As Me

samekind

I just finished reading Same Kind of Different As Me: A Modern-Day Slave, an International Art Dealer, and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together (affiliate link).   This is a powerful book.

This story illustrates how one man can make a difference.  But, it’s not the man you would suspect.  You would expect the different maker to be the wealthy art dealer, the man of means.  The hero in this book is not that guy.

In his own words, “There’s somethin’ I learned when I was homeless: Our limitation is God’s opportunity.”  God can take our brokenness and weakness to make a difference.  In fact, he seems to prefer to use broken people.  This book shows that God can use anyone to make a difference in the lives of others.  Ecclesiastes 9:15 puts it this way, “There was found in a certain city a poor man who was wise, and by his wisdom he saved the city.”  This book is about a poor man that makes a huge difference.

It’s also about learning to love others.  It’s about learning to love those that society rejects.  Society may not value those who seem down and out, but God does and he wants us to as well.  This story shows the difference reaching out and loving someone who is unloved can make.  It can change the destiny of not only that person, but the lives of so many more.

This is a great read for parents to read to their slighty older kids (their are some mature themes like racism, slavery, etc..), people who intersted in social justice and social change, or anybody who is interested in loving people more like Christ loves them.

This is a short book that I would encourage everybody to read at some point.  You can pick up a copy here in softcover from Amazon or here on Kindle.

For Parents

childs hands

This Winter we have two great opportunities for every parent at Calvary.  First, Pastor Clark and I will be teaching a two week class addressing issues surrounding parents and their kids use of technology.  We find stats such as the average child is first exposed to pornography on the internet at the age of 12 staggering, and we want to do something about them.  So, we are going to teach this class for parents addressing issues such as how to filter content on the internet, monitor their kids on Facebook, Twitter, cell phones, the whole gamut. We’ll also be sure to leave some time at the end of each class for parents to ask any questions they like on the topic.  The class is scheduled for January 23rd and 30th at 10:15. Location TBA.

Then on February 5th Calvary is hosting a Home Improvement Ministries conference entitled “Sacred Parenting in a Not So Sacred World.” Gary Thomas is the guest speaker so it guaranteed to be a worthwhile day.  Here is a brief write-up on the conference…

In a world that is less than “sacred,” we as parents are often at a loss on how to raise kids who honor God, their parents and others.  We’re looking for easy steps to “new kids” when we may do better to look first at our own lives.  Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting, helps us understand “How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls.”  In addition to Gary Thomas’ three plenary sessions, practical workshops will round out this incredibly important day.

You can find out more about the conference by checking out this site.

If you’re a parent be sure not to miss out on these two great opportunities.

Welcome Home

snow

Somehow we made it, and we actually made it early.  Becky, Jack and I spent this past week in Missouri visiting family.   When we heard there was a major snowstorm heading towards the northeast on Sunday & Monday we were a little nervous as our flights home were scheduled for Monday night.  Then we started hearing of 1,000’s of cancelled flights, and travelers stranded until Thursday.  So when it came time to leave for the airport we were a little concerned about getting stuck in Chicago where our layover was.  But, they still hadn’t cancelled our flight, so we jumped in the car and headed for Lambert Airport.  By the time we made it on the plane to Boston they had one runway open at Logan, and we were actually able to land 9 minutes early.

Ironically, the last time we were back to Missouri it was the summer and we were concerned we were not going to make it back then as well as a hurricane was heading up the east coast.  We made it back to Mass then too, that time right on schedule and a little before the storm arrived.

We didn’t make it back before the storm this time though, so I still have about 2 feet of snow to clear off my drive way!  Welcome home.